Our Little Secret
by anonymouswriterff
Summary: A one-shot set at the end of 6x18. Hotch and JJ go behind glass doors to have a conversation after JJ delivered the news of Emily's death. Here's my take on what was said. Jemily as always!


**I realise I still have two stories to write, but this story popped into my head and I just had to write it in order to get it out. A big thank you to USCutie15 and her girlfriend for proofreading this one, so thank you!**

 **This takes place in season 6 episode 18 where they fake Emily's death.**

 **I don't own anything, I just used the characters.**

 **I hope you like it.**

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 _"A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets."_

 _\- Gloria Stuart_

"She never made it off the table."

The words felt weird coming from her mouth as she said them, especially when they weren't true. Luckily, her mask, created by years of media liaison experience, was set in place. Normally, she only used it when talking to the press, but this time was different. This time she had to be particularly careful that no hint of the truth seeped out. This time she was lying to her entire team.

To her advantage, her eyes were still puffy with tears. However, this was not for the reason her team would think, but rather was from when she was in the recovery room with Emily. The brunette had been awake just long enough for JJ to tell her what the plan was before the doctors sedated her again.

She saw the defeat on everyone's face and had trouble not breaking down. She wanted so badly to tell them the truth. She wanted to tell them Emily was going to be okay, but that would only endanger the older profiler's life even more. She saw Spencer beginning to move past her to go see Emily, but JJ stepped in his path and hugged him. Her eyes found Hotch's and he motioned for her to follow him. With a last smile to her friends, she followed Hotch behind the glass doors, preventing the team from overhearing their conversation.

"How is she doing?" he asked her once they were alone. He and JJ were the only two people who knew about the plan to fake Emily's death.

"She's in pain. The doctors are keeping her sedated for a while until she arrives in Bethesda," JJ explained before letting out a sigh. She ran a hand through her hair and locked eyes with Hotch, who could see the determination in those tear-filled blue orbs. "I'm going with her."

"JJ, Strauss..."

"I don't give a damn what Strauss says," JJ interrupted him, raising her voice. She looked out of the glass doors towards the team and cleared her throat, lowering the tone of her voice again. "I'm going with her, Hotch. It isn't a question."

"I know," Hotch nodded and raised his eyebrow slightly, indicating that the unit chief was about to become dead serious. "What I meant to say was, Strauss can't find out about it. She won't be happy and she might not let you return to the BAU."

JJ scoffed, resting her hands on her sides as she shook her head. "Strauss thinks Emily's dead. There's nothing to find out. She's never been happy with us. Fraternization is forbidden in the bureau. We both know it's the real reason she sent me to the Pentagon. She wanted to send someone else first, but she picked _me._ It didn't come from higher up," she said curtly before closing her eyes. She took a deep breath and released it slowly. "I need to do this, Aaron. I need to be there when she wakes up."

Nodding once again, Hotch looked outside the glass doors towards his team. "I'll let Will know and I'll tell the team you got called back to the Pentagon. I do expect you to be there for the funeral. We need it to be convincing."

"And I expect to be the first to put a rose on her grave," The blonde answered, giving him a weak smile as a sign of a silent thank you before turning on her heels and walking away. She opened the door that would lead her back around to the recovery room where Emily was being prepped for the journey towards Bethesda, making sure not to cross paths with the team again. She walked up to the brunette and carefully rested her hand on top of Emily's, gently squeezing it. "I'll be there when you wake up, baby. I promise."

CMCMCMCM

After the funeral and the entire transfer to Bethesda, JJ was sitting in the chair next to Emily's bed with the brunette's hand in her own. The older profiler was covered in wires and various steady beeping sounds broke the silence in the room. JJ was happy as long as the beeping sounds kept a steady rhythm. At least Emily didn't have a tube anymore and was breathing on her own. That was a very good sign.

JJ's thumb was gently stroking over Emily's knuckles. "I need you to wake up, Em," she whispered, reaching out with her other hand to brush some hair out of the brunette's face. "Open your eyes, baby. I know you can do it."

Just as she was about to lean forward to press her lips to her girlfriend's forehead, a female nurse walked into the room. With a small smile, she apologized for disturbing the moment, but she was on her rounds and needed to check the stats. "She's doing great, considering," she informed JJ after she checked Emily's chart. The blonde nodded, but kept staring at Emily, still hoping she would open her eyes.

"She'll do a lot better if she would open those beautiful brown eyes of hers," she said as a tear fell down her cheek. She hated to see Emily so helpless in the hospital bed.

The nurse turned around to take a good look at JJ. She noticed the profiler probably hadn't eaten in a few days and she looked tired, which indicated she also hadn't slept. "Maybe you should get up. You could go and get something to eat? Or a coffee? I can come and get you when she wakes up." the nurse suggested kindly, but JJ shook her head.

"No, I want to be here when she wakes," she answered, finally looking at the female nurse. "But thank you anyway."

"Okay, just come and get me if you need anything," the nurse smiled before turning around to leave the room.

JJ turned back to Emily before getting up to press her lips against the woman's forehead. She closed her eyes at the touch and let her lips linger for a few seconds before pulling back. "The nurse is right, you know. I don't need to eat or sleep, but I do need to use the ladies room."

With that, JJ got up from her chair and moved to the bathroom in Emily's hospital room. When she was done, she heard a faint mumbling coming from the bed and she quickly walked out. Emily was waking up, but instead of walking over to the bed, JJ kept her place in the bathroom door.

"JJ?" Emily whispered weakly, attempting to sit up. A wave of pain broke through her chest and she quickly laid back down. "What are you doing here?"

"What the hell were you thinking, Emily?!" JJ questioned angrily, ignoring the brunette's question. She crossed her arms over her chest. "Did you ever consider what could happen? What almost happened?"

"Jennifer..."

"Don't Jennifer me, Emily Prentiss," JJ instantly interrupted, taking a few steps closer to the bed as she felt tears welling up in her eyes. "You almost died! I almost lost you! Where was your mind when you decided to go after Doyle by yourself? Did you even think about me for one damn second?"

"You were all I thought about, Jennifer," Emily answered, remaining calm while JJ was on the verge of breaking down. "He had information about the team, about you. I wanted to keep you safe. I wanted to protect you."

"I'm very capable of protecting myself, thank you very much," the younger agent snapped before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. "You don't want to know what went through my mind the moment I got that phone call, Emily. I got here as soon as I could."

"I know and I'm sorry," Emily apologized and she reached out a hand to touch JJ's arm, but the other woman pulled back.

JJ shook her head, still keeping the tears inside. "You don't get to do that. You don't get to apologize and hug me as if everything is suddenly okay. Everything is not okay! I could have lost you, Emily! Don't you get that? Why do you always have to be the tough one? Why do you always have to be the hero?"

Without saying a word, Emily reached out again and took a hold of JJ's arm, refusing to let go when the blonde tried to pull back. "Come here, baby," she suggested softly, tugging at the younger agent's arm to get her to move closer.

"No, Em, don't," JJ cried, finally allowing the tears to escape her heavenly blue eyes. She was still fighting Emily's hold until she just couldn't anymore. She eventually allowed Emily to pull her onto the bed and quickly buried her face in the brunette's neck, letting her tears fall freely while Emily whispered apologies into her ear.

"I'm so sorry, JJ, I just wanted to protect you" she said softly, rubbing gentle circles on the blonde's back. She was biting back the pain she felt in her chest, only she wasn't sure if the pain came from her stab wound or from her aching heart. She knew if it was herself in JJ's shoes, she'd be furious as well.

"I know that," JJ answered weakly, letting out a deep sigh. She draped her arm across Emily's stomach, yet paid close attention so she wouldn't touch the brunette's injury. "I'm sorry, I just... I thought I'd lost you, Emily, and it scared the hell out of me."

"I know, I'm sorry," Emily apologized again, pressing a loving kiss against JJ's forehead. She felt the younger woman's breathing slowly even out and realised she must have cried herself to sleep. The blonde was exhausted and Emily let her sleep, running her hand through her golden locks. "I'll never put you through that again, Jennifer, I promise."

CMCMCMCM

A few hours later, JJ was slowly waking up and found the room to be awfully quiet. Her eyes suddenly went wide and without even giving it a second thought, she quickly lifted her head and pressed to fingers to Emily's throat in order to find a pulse.

"They took the wires off about forty-five minutes ago," the brunette smiled without opening her eyes, making JJ sigh in relief. The younger agent rested her head against Emily's shoulder again, content her girlfriend was doing better. "They cleared me for takeoff."

JJ sat up again as she let the new information sink in. "We're leaving already?"

"Wait," Emily shook her head, using her hands to push herself a little more into a sitting position. "What do you mean 'we'?"

"You don't think I was going to let you go through this by yourself, did you?" JJ asked, taking Emily's hand in her own.

"JJ, if Strauss..."

With a squeeze to the older agent's hand, she quickly interrupted. "Will you stop thinking about Strauss for one minute? Hotch is taking care of her. She doesn't know I'm here. She really believes I'm still with Will. I'm coming to Paris with you and that's not up for discussion."

Instead of answering JJ, Emily reached out and took a hold of the younger woman's collar. She gently tugged her closer and kissed her lips once she was within reach. JJ brought her hand up to cup the brunette's cheek as the kiss deepened. Only when air became an issue did they break apart. "I love you, you know that, right?"

"I do," JJ smiled, planting another kiss on Emily's lips. "And I also know we can't see each other for a while after Paris, but it's already been too long since we last saw each other. I want to take advantage of every second we get."

"I know," Emily nodded, glancing over to the water bottle. JJ immediately got the hint and poured the older agent a glass of water, carefully helping her drink. "Thanks. We need to keep this secret going, Jennifer. I want us both to be on the BAU again. Strauss really believes you're with Will, especially after he agreed to help us get a baby. She believes Henry is yours and Will's. You need to stay with Will and convince Strauss we're not an item anymore. I'm just thanking God Will has agreed to this entire charade."

JJ sighed as she shifted on the bed, taking Emily's hand in her lap. "I know. Someday fraternization will be allowed in the bureau and I really hope Will finds someone who is going to give him everything he deserves. And when you come back, you have to be convincing too. You can't tell anyone you know I'm working in Afghanistan. When we're in the jet, we're going to have a conversation about you asking me about my job. You never know if there are cameras on board."

"Deal," Emily agreed, using her thumb to trace over the blonde's leg. "I'll do anything as long as we're together. And someday, we will be. I promise."

"I know, baby, I know." JJ leaned forward again to capture Emily's lips in a passionate kiss. One which she poured all the love she could possibly give into and one that was a promise that someday, they would be together without the fear of being pulled apart. Even if it had to be in secret for the time being.

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 **So what did you think? :-)**


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